Seriously, I have read your blog and I know what you’ve been up to.
And how you’re doing, and how you’re feeling, I know. It’s just, the pain you caused me, it took time to heal. Yes, I did talked behind your back, it’s because I didn’t want to say it to your face because it will make things worst.
You have more and “great” friends out there and Im just a pathetic little friend that you don’t care about my feelings at the first place. Yes, I used be a really stuck up bitch which you think Ive played with your heart and bad person, but you don’t have to do that. You know me longer than that somebody.
If you’re in my shoes, I don’t think you’re gonna pretend like you’re okay with it. Yes, it is okay to be with your friend’s ex, but can’t you give more time? Doesn’t meant, Ive move on, you have the right to be with him in a like what? 4 months after we broke up? I don’t have feelings toward him anymore, but you’re violating the friendship code. Many people would say that im so pathetic and whatsoever, but whatever, Im not gonna hide what im feeling and why should I listen to others when my heart feels the pain?
Everyone thinks they’re right and we’re going thins that our selves is right. But think about it, when you knew I have broken up, did you go to my ex or me? Did you comfort him or me? Doesn’t meant, Ive broken up with him, ive broken with you. You should really think about it when you’re write your blog. Doesn’t meant, Ive hurt him, Ive hurt you kan? Who’s friend are you now? And did you by any chance make an effort telling me that somebody was contacting you? Did you? Wow, you must one hell of a friend kan?
You don’t possibly knew what Ive been through and it really sadden me, you can simply said, “sudah2lah tu”. It’s not easy to mend a broken heart, when someone you really trust and practically used to love, make a love connection behind my back. And did you guys start to communicate? How does it goes? When? So much of a friend. If you’re right, you shouldn’t be sacred and just tell me what have been going on. Kan? Again, that is friend.
And when you’re in that situation already la kan, you don’t have to msged like this, “gadis, apa ko uat?”. What kind of introduction is that? And you’ve just dropped the bom? Have you not know the ethics of giving someone a bad news? You shouldn’t have asked, “how are you doing?” And if you asked, you should know, that my grandma passed away that week and my family was faced with something bad. Again, one hell of a friend kan?
I’m not that naive, Ive just kept it to myself. I don’t need the whole world to know that Im just a stupid dumb friend who been talking behind your back. Yes, im the bad friend, I talked behind your back. Yes, im the bad friend and you’re what, the angel friend? Haa? Doesn’t 6 years of friendship can compare to your 4 months crush at that time? Have you not think about it? Or you just doesn’t want to acknowledge the facts? or im not your truly friend? Im just some girl you knew before you have you best friend kan? Seriously, you must be one hell of a friend kan?
I guess, we’re equal. Don’t expect things will go back like it was supposed to be. I used to make that endless call and asked how you are, and seriously, you don’t make the effort to do that. Holidays doesn’t count. Looks like someone is more important than I am. And people make fun of me because maybe im the “kelam-kabut” of type but people maybe doesn’t like me, but that is me. Seriously, friend should terima baik buruk kan? Nak ulang lagi? You’ve must been one hell of a friend.
So, seriously, why bother? You don’t care about me when you did it, so why care now? Don’t make yourself an angel when everyone else have an evil side inside. Don’t make yourself look innocent, and im not just stupid dumb and naive. You don’t think, I don’t know what’s going on. Kan changes is good? Kan kuar semua perkataan sombong, or kan best kalu we can turned time kan? Memang, tapi dalam berubah tu, tak payah putuskan hubungan dengan semua orang and bile rasa diri tu da banyak sangat kawan, why running back to us? Why? Kata awkward, because you make yourself feeling awkward because you have other friends you need to know about kan? It’s not simply to have more friends in one time. But, divide yourself for that. Suka kan berkawan? Memang tak salah langsung pun.
There’s a reason for everthing and there’s a reason for my coldness. Dah besar panjang kan? You can think for yourself.
People can talk, but they can’t really feel and im not exaggerating. Sudahlah, lupakan jela. Bersembahyang dan bertawakal. I’m only human, and human do have feelings you know. I’m sorry Ive talked behind your back and it’s just a way to show how I’m hurt with you and the other party and you should really asked me yourself. Not through some sms. We’re getting older, we’re not 7 years old.
Sometimes, our biggest fear is to face with the fear itself. And if you’re right, you don’t need to be afraid. Kan? But before you want to talked about it, you should explained to me how does it happened and not through our friends.
Don’t make them suffer. Talk to me. FACE-TO-FACE. Enough of running.and Yeah, sorry is not enough. Sometimes, life doesn’t work that way.
Take note that someone : I want my cd back and please post it to me.